rewind

if life were like that, we wouldn't need reconciliations, heartbreaks and experiences,
what if it was? looking over the shoulder.
my feet keeps walking, and i can't stop. i just can't stop.
what i saw was...me.
how ugly, how disgusting, how horrible.
it was still me.
what events could've changed if i acted differently?
if i just reacted differently?
if i thought rationally?
if. hah.
nothing can be done, but look forward, look ahead.
feelings in the past linger on, daring to stay for such an eternity it seems

it seems like..
it seems like everything is piled up at one specific time.
it's funny how You work, eh? what a challenge to land on me.
i'm mentally breaking down, i'm losing sight of You, yet again.
it seems like i can't see You here anymore, when nobody, nothing is sufficient enough.
why do i feel so deserted? alone in such a bare, cruel space.
i'm lost. in more ways than four. and all i want to do, is cry to You.
will the tears reach You?
everyone struggles, but why is my limit so...insignificant?
what willpower do i have?
what is the meaning of this?
of all this?
here it comes again.
jealousy? there is nothing to be jealous about.
what a grave concern for me, so minor so stupid.
i'm losing sight of
myself
everyone
You.

and all i can see on this monumental block are questions left unanwered.